Why the Queen and the Pope should not be match Makers
by doggydeath
Summary: After the war that nearly destoryed England the Pope and the Queen have decided to take measure to be sure no more quarrels happen. They're solution? To be pricks and marry Seras and Anderson. Can this unlikely pair find peace in this clear crap pairing or will they're differences be too much to handle? After war (obviously) and Anders didn't die. M for later chapters maybe.
1. Chapter 1

She didn't understand. She couldn't. She simply stood in obvious shock as her hands were clasped too tightly by the man in front of her. Her eyes remained locked on the band that locked itself around her wedding finger. To her left the Pope recited the ancient words while the Queen sat rather pleased in a soft looking chair near the front. Behind and around her sat her friends and enemies alike, all grim faced and some pitying as they sat silent in their places. No, they weren't what frightened her nor was the wedding that was forced upon them. It was the man in front of her.

Slowly her eyes rose to meet his own, they're wild lust for her blood causing her to cringe and drop them again. After all, it was _him_ before her now. Her new Husband, her new partner_. _Father Alexander Anderson. The murmurs of the priest halted and Anderson's eyes narrowed slightly as a snarling grin slipped across his lips. Leaning down until their breath mingled, their lips collided in a harsh kiss. She felt her skin crawl as they held for a moment before pulling back with a sharp hiss. As she pulled away she heard him growl in her ear.

"Yoo meh be mah wife but dun ya furgit." he snarled darkly. "Oon wrung move an' I'll gut ya liek ah fish."

The threat burned into her ears and blackened her sight. She didn't feel herself hit the floor as she fainted, her new 'husband' catching her with a grunt in surprise. Around her there was the sounds of gaspings and the last thing she saw was the glowing glass of Jesus in the large window before she passed out completely.


	2. Home Sweet Never

**Heads up! My keyboard is a bit glitchy so some letters may go missing once and a while. My apologies!  
Also, if you can' understand Anderson let me know (message or review) and if enough people complain I'll write him normally.**

**Thanks for Reading!  
XD**

Turned out that Seras was to move to Ireland with him, in a two story house with a basement and large fenced backyard in the middle of nowhere. This of course wasn't her agreement and she doubted it was his, yet she couldn't quite bring herself to ask. Not because she was pitying or anything but one wrong move and as he said, he'd 'gut her like a fish'. She shuddered. No doubt he would try.

"Wotcha lookin' at Draculina?" a drawling growl made her back stiffen as she glanced away from the sea to stare at him suspiciously. He grinned widely back. "Never seen da ocean?"

"I have." Seras answered tightly as she turned her face back to the setting sun, keeping her ears and senses locked on him. "I wanted to see it again. In fact, I haven't been to the beach since Daddy..." She trailed off, her eyes softening as she thought of her father. "What is it? Am I to be locked up now?"

"Hm?" Anders frowned as he came to a stop beside her, staring his face ahead but his eyes at her. "Nay, yer free ta wander yer pretty 'ead off. Jus' dun go ta close tu da children 'n no sneakin' away firm me. 'til I can troost ya I dun want ya too fer from meh."

"So you're acting like my babysitter then?" Seras said with a frown. "Though, I guess I can't blame you. If you were wandering around my friends house I wouldn't want you unsupervised either."

"Soo glah ta get yer approval' lass." Anders grunted with a roll of his eyes. He glanced back almost suspiciously down the driveway before growling in disapproval. "Yer Queen t'aint go ta lick of manners doh. Set up cameras 'round da yard ta make sure I dun run wit' no bodies."

"Our Queen has plenty of manners!" Seras snapped hotly as she turned unthinking on him and put her hands on her hips. "It's you _irish_ that don't have manners! You're Maxwell is a sign of it! He didn't have the decency in him to leave children and women alone, no he burnt down all of England on that rampage he went on!"

"Qu'et vampire." Alex growled sharply, his voice rumbling with threat as he glared down at her. "Yer treadin' a dangerous path."

"Why? Can't he handle a bit of pressure?" Seras spat puffing out. "He's probably embarrassed he lost to us, that's why he never showed at the wedding."

" 'eh never showed 'cause eh's dead. Dat battled 'illed 'em." Anders answered gruffly. His glower softened a little however when he raised his head to look up at the sky for a moment before releasing a heavy breath. When he looked down again at her, his anger was still there though some of the bloodlust lay buried deeper. "Yer 'ight in da way dat Maxwell misused 'is power ta 'urt yer country buh I raised da lad. I won' put up wit yer foul mouthin' 'im."

"...he died?" Alex blinked when the sudden grief took her voice, her body slouching forward as she instantly took the shamed posture. He was startled to say the least when she stared sadly at her own boots and murmured her apologies. "I'm sorry. I... didn't know. If I had, I wouldn't have... I'm sorry."

"Dat's a new one." Alex snorted suspiciously as he eyed her. A small smirk twitched at his lips as he grinned almost cat like down at her. "Dun tink yer little tears 'll move meh ta trustin' ya Draculina. I doubt yer black 'art even knows da word 'sorry'."

"...!" Seras twitched as she glared sharply at her boots, her emotions building up again as she tried to bite her tongue. She slowly looked up and met his gaze full on, lips pulled into a frustrated frown. If he hadn't known her to be as open as a book, he'd of thought she was really playing him but he'd seen her fear, excitement and even the look of triumphant challenge. He knew her faces better then she did. Yet, he didn't want to think of her as a human so he fooled himself into thing she was playing him.

"Quit yer glares Draculina." Alex growled as he turned and started stalking towards the home. He glanced back at her and gave her his own sneering grin. "Woo' ya like meh ta carry ya like a true bride ma love?"

"No." She stated immediately tensing up. He grunted out a chuckle before heading on again. She tried to ignore that panic that slowly grew in her belly or the fog in her brain that refused to lift. She was married to Alex. She was _married_ to Alex. The panic grew quick but Alex's voice broke through her whirlwind of emotion like an iceburg in the titanic.

"Oi! C'mere ma love!" Alex called mockingly. "Weh should open da doors to 'r live tagether, aye?"

"Oh why couldn't I just marry some other priest?" Seras grumbled under her breath despite her instant reaction to go to him. He didn't hear her, though the smug grin on his face dared her to think differently. She didn't want him there, she didn't want to go in the house and she really didn't like the idea of sleeping anywhere on the same country as him either. She scowled and he gave her a fanged smile.

" c'mon Lassie." He rumbled reaching for the doornob and twisting it. "Leh's see whot we got 'rselves inta."

**Sorry, my laptop has crappy keys going on and I'm also writing three or so more fanfics and an RP site. XD So... yeah little busy not including 3 jobs. Stay tuned! It will pick up when it's not 1 AM in the morn'. :P**

**Doggy D Cookiethief**


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